Most of you already know about my previous rant on I wanted to wait until some of the madness died down and then address that issue. As embarrased as I am, here is the rant that I want to clear up…

Let me start by saying that I want to apologize to my family, friends and all my twitter followers who were the first to witness the drama. Every decision that I make – good, bad or indifferent directly affects you and for this I am truly sorry.

Although to everyone else, I do not take back the emotions associated with the rant, but I do greatly apologize for the language.

Now, here are my thoughts:

When I did the REAL WORLD almost 16 years ago, I was new to the industry, young and very naive. The difference is that I did that show and when it was over, I heard some comments but nothing outrageous. Part of this outcome was due to the fact that back then, we didn’t have the abundant amount of social networking sites. We didn’t have Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, blogs and all the many gossip/celebrity driven websites. So basically, if someone had an issue or remark about me, I never really heard about it. Now, the aforementioned networking sites bring people’s opinions and remarks straight to the mainstream.

I don’t really read blogs, but someone sent me a link to the necolebitchie website and said she did a story on me. I went to the site and in reading, viewed all of the postings. I was totally shocked, annoyed, hurt, and finally angry. So many people had so many negative things to say about me and they didn’t even know me. I took those comments to heart and internalized them. I felt a need to defend myself against the many hurtful comments. Before I knew it, I was typing and sending on Twitter.

Believe you me, I am no saint and I have been asking God to help me with my potty mouth, but the truth is: I curse like a sailor. It’s not the proper way to express yourself, this I am aware of, but I couldn’t control the words that were coming out of my mouth.

Since time has gone by, I had a chance to think about that rant “ I had a chance to think about the comments and I came to the realization that I have work to do. People are talking about me and passing judgment on me as an individual. People are criticizing my character and again, these are people who don’t even know me. I undoubtedly have accrued enemies and hatred that is unwarranted. Most people have been totally mislead.

Now I’m not gonna lie I say what’s on my mind and I try to keep it 100% truthful. Whether the person likes it or not, I believe that the truth is better because you know where everybody stands. No secrets, no hidden agenda, no barriers. Unfortunately, some people can’t handle this element of truth, which leads to mad drama. I have been known to bring drama into situations due to my way of approaching life, my way of approaching the truth on issues. So I ask you, is that a problem with me OR the person unwilling to face facts, that’s rhetorical, no answer necessary.

Anyway, I have been called a bitch ” I am a bitch ” on occasion. However, that is not all there is to me. No person walking this earth is one dimensional, but people have classified me as a one trick pony.

No one ever talks about the non-profits I am associated with the community service work I do with young girls the donations I make to various organizations the fact that I work daily to support my kids and have raised two beautiful daughters who are honor roll students in two of the most prestigious specialized schools in NY. No one talks about the fact that I have owned two businesses, have owned property, have supported family and friends for years. People are certainly in the dark about me.

I truly believe that people have developed certain misconceptions from my stint on the Real World. Always remember that what you are watching on TV, is just that a TV show. The producers and editors have to make characters, they have to create story lines. It is their job to make the show entertaining and dramatic. I’m not saying that what you are witnessing on reality TV is not real, but I will say that sometimes the way things play out OR the edited version that you see, may not be the entire story.

This Blog to be continued – check back for Part 2